U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
