Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
There's always time for handjobs
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Randomize
