it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
