Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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