if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
