Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
