What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
