Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
