..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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