he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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