Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She's the barista slut.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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