I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
she pinky promised me she was 18
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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