wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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