Who wears a wallet chain?!
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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