how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
