He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
