Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
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