just tell him i said nine months
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
