I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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