Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
