i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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