We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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