Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
