The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
