I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
What a dumb baby whore.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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