After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
