this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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