i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
