They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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