They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
