Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
