her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
