"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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