i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
