how hairy? two words: wookie tits
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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