david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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