i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
