You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
