Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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