I want to make a zoo with you.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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