You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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