I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
