Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
