i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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