They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Someone signed my nipple.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
