she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
