yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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