thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
