windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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