You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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